Do you believe forever?
Do you believe forever?
Nothing is forever- famous quote from Buddha. Life is consistently changes
Recently, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend as her boyfriend is flirting with other girls. She was depressed. It reminded me about 2 years + ago, my ex broke up with me for another guy.
I had a few bad dreams regarding my ex. I had dream of her having difficulties such as accident/ injured, I rushed to hospital to save her, but ended up her husband was with her.
Silly dream huh... haha. 2years already, i still can have this kind of dream. To save someone who hurted me the most. I am a joker. A friend of mine mentioned to me that, she is currently pregnant and living a happiness life in KK. I am neither a generous nor a kind hearted person, I wont curse her /wish her., all decided by god.
This is the 1st time I told my ex story here. It is an old story, nobody will care.
Just a place to ventilate myself.
What are my good points?
I am not a gambler/ smoker/ drinker.
I do not have night life / clubbing
I am not stingy, but i do not simply spend my money
Since we were together in university life, I spent most of the time accompany her. My personal time had been cut short, i rarely played games/ hangout with my friends as she was the one who need most accompany
Let say the weekly schedule:
The class usually started from 8am till 5pm.
We would meet together for lunch if both of us were free.
After the class, we would have dinner together around 7pm. (my hostel and her house were about 10-15min walking distance, or 10-15min driving distance)
Every single day without miss ! We will eat dinner together no matter raining / thunderstorming etc, I will go find her and we will eat at hawker center (downstair her house) or someplace further ( I had my car, so i can drive her to some niceR place)
Subsequently, we will spend time together till 10-11pm chit chatting/ watching drama/ doing homework. Then i will go back my hostel.
This continue for 3years!!
Dating at shopping mall once per week for past 3years !
My ex is the one who like to hang out at shopping mall for window shopping/ eating good food. However, i am the opposite. However, as she love it, i will try to love it.
Hence, saturday is the outing day! We will go outing starting 10am till 10pm. Spending time walking in the mall, watching movie, eating lunch and dinner, accompany her window shopping etc.
For window shopping, i am not the kind of guy sit there and do nothing. I am the one who actively participate in her shopping. I will give advice if she asked, accompanied her to see all those girl stuffs (make up, facial mask, clothes, nail polisher, shoes, accessories etc). I am willing to carry her handbag when she choosing her stuffs. I do not mind, as long as she is happy, i am happy
Hence, i am quite a expert in all female stuff during that time.
For movie, because shopping in mall for about 12hours will break my leg. So i insisted to watch a movie together. The choice of movie, most of the time will be decided by her. I like thriller/ ghost movie, but she do not like it. Hence, for past 3years, we only watch once that kind of movie, since then even i requested, she will kinda rejected. So i never watch those movie again as i knew she scared of those movie.
She is kind. During shopping time, i carried most of the stuff. But she will help me carry some of them. But i always told her, your job was to hold my hand.
We celebrate 99days, 199days, 299days .......together (I remember i forgot one of the 99 days)
Anniversary / special occasions such as Valentine, christmas, new year, birthday etc, i will never forget those important days.
Presents, descent restaurant dinner and Flower! She likes flowers. Hence every occasions, there will be Roses. Most of the times, i will spend time to prepare present such as craft items, videos etc.
Mixed with her gang members. Due to spending most of the time with her, her friends became mine. We hang out together. Sometimes, her friends will help me out, to speak on behalf of me.
I admit i sometimes can be hot tempered easily. But i never scold her/ yelled at her. Because she told me, she felt sad when I raised my voice / scolded her. Hence i never do that.
Even quarrel for somethings, I am the one who apologized 1st because i cherish this relationship. So i need to pamper her after every quarrel (which she started 1st)
I am stupid in recognized the maps. She is very good. So most of the times, she will direct me the road, if not i had to depend on GPS waze. She was unhappy for my weakness, even though after multiple times, i still can confuse with the roads without GPS. I tried to remember, but i had difficulties!
She missed her family very much. Basically she will go back to her hometown once per month (from KL to JB). Hence, every time, i will fetch her to BTS and waited her to catch her bus. When she come back to KL, i will waited her and fetch her back hostel. I insisted to fetch her as I worry her to take taxi alone.
Her parents / brothers were like my parents /brothers. We knew each other well and even spent time together in travelling to Genting etc.
Even for houseman ship, i choose HSIJB with her (as nearer to her house) but she promised me to do the MO ship in batu pahat as exchanged.
During 1st posting, as i was medical posting, she was O&G posting. When she had difficulties in taking blood or setting branula, i will rush to O&G ward to help her take blood or set branula. The nurses had recognized me even before i entered O&G.
For her 1st oncall in ward, i accompanied her and slept in hospital as she scared in manage acute patients.
Even though we were busy in different department, we still try to eat dinner together. Basically at least 2-3 times per week.
However, we had less time to spend together for movie or shopping as both of us were busy in different department. Even though we had time, she preferred going back home to visit her parents. But i preferred not to go with her as driving back and forth took 45min each. At her home, i still need entertained with her parents for breakfast/ dinner. After all, i need a good rest during my off day.
Maybe lack of communication is the key of breaking up. Maybe...
Maybe I didnt spend more time to accompany her as i was busy in hospital with new department
Maybe I am not mature that time compared to the other guy
Maybe I am not good at giving false promise to her (every girl like false promise)
All of these....all of these....cant even balance for the sacrifice/ love i spent for past 3years during university time.
Even in HO ship, i still care for you. But i cant give you the same efforts as in university time. Because i need to work, i need to oncall and i am new to this society.
Maybe this is the reason you felt i do not care for you or love you. So you choose another guy.
I am trying my best to give you a good life in future by performing well in job. I am thinking how to save money to buy house for our future.
I am thinking i am the one who did wrong. Even you break up with me, i still tried my best to make up for both of us. But your heart had been taken away by another guy. You had been flirting with another guy. Oh gosh...what a terrible punch to me.
I received your message...you say you are sorry to me, and thank for the care for past 3years. And hope we can become friend again.
I replied: no thanks....
Thank for deceiving me...
Thank for not believing me to give you a better future
Thank for destroying my faith on love
Thank for making me sad for >1year for the lost
Thank for leaving a hole in my heart
Thank for let me grow up for past 3years+, i became more mature after this relationship
Thank you for everything.
I grew up now.
I am not longer the innocent caipao, who always giving all out for a girl
I am more preserved now
Those who didnt appreciated me, i will not give a shit to you anymore.
Because i believe i am worth than what you think.
Nothing is forever- famous quote from Buddha. Life is consistently changes
Recently, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend as her boyfriend is flirting with other girls. She was depressed. It reminded me about 2 years + ago, my ex broke up with me for another guy.
I had a few bad dreams regarding my ex. I had dream of her having difficulties such as accident/ injured, I rushed to hospital to save her, but ended up her husband was with her.
Silly dream huh... haha. 2years already, i still can have this kind of dream. To save someone who hurted me the most. I am a joker. A friend of mine mentioned to me that, she is currently pregnant and living a happiness life in KK. I am neither a generous nor a kind hearted person, I wont curse her /wish her., all decided by god.
This is the 1st time I told my ex story here. It is an old story, nobody will care.
Just a place to ventilate myself.
What are my good points?
I am not a gambler/ smoker/ drinker.
I do not have night life / clubbing
I am not stingy, but i do not simply spend my money
Since we were together in university life, I spent most of the time accompany her. My personal time had been cut short, i rarely played games/ hangout with my friends as she was the one who need most accompany
Let say the weekly schedule:
The class usually started from 8am till 5pm.
We would meet together for lunch if both of us were free.
After the class, we would have dinner together around 7pm. (my hostel and her house were about 10-15min walking distance, or 10-15min driving distance)
Every single day without miss ! We will eat dinner together no matter raining / thunderstorming etc, I will go find her and we will eat at hawker center (downstair her house) or someplace further ( I had my car, so i can drive her to some niceR place)
Subsequently, we will spend time together till 10-11pm chit chatting/ watching drama/ doing homework. Then i will go back my hostel.
This continue for 3years!!
Dating at shopping mall once per week for past 3years !
My ex is the one who like to hang out at shopping mall for window shopping/ eating good food. However, i am the opposite. However, as she love it, i will try to love it.
Hence, saturday is the outing day! We will go outing starting 10am till 10pm. Spending time walking in the mall, watching movie, eating lunch and dinner, accompany her window shopping etc.
For window shopping, i am not the kind of guy sit there and do nothing. I am the one who actively participate in her shopping. I will give advice if she asked, accompanied her to see all those girl stuffs (make up, facial mask, clothes, nail polisher, shoes, accessories etc). I am willing to carry her handbag when she choosing her stuffs. I do not mind, as long as she is happy, i am happy
Hence, i am quite a expert in all female stuff during that time.
For movie, because shopping in mall for about 12hours will break my leg. So i insisted to watch a movie together. The choice of movie, most of the time will be decided by her. I like thriller/ ghost movie, but she do not like it. Hence, for past 3years, we only watch once that kind of movie, since then even i requested, she will kinda rejected. So i never watch those movie again as i knew she scared of those movie.
She is kind. During shopping time, i carried most of the stuff. But she will help me carry some of them. But i always told her, your job was to hold my hand.
We celebrate 99days, 199days, 299days .......together (I remember i forgot one of the 99 days)
Anniversary / special occasions such as Valentine, christmas, new year, birthday etc, i will never forget those important days.
Presents, descent restaurant dinner and Flower! She likes flowers. Hence every occasions, there will be Roses. Most of the times, i will spend time to prepare present such as craft items, videos etc.
Mixed with her gang members. Due to spending most of the time with her, her friends became mine. We hang out together. Sometimes, her friends will help me out, to speak on behalf of me.
I admit i sometimes can be hot tempered easily. But i never scold her/ yelled at her. Because she told me, she felt sad when I raised my voice / scolded her. Hence i never do that.
Even quarrel for somethings, I am the one who apologized 1st because i cherish this relationship. So i need to pamper her after every quarrel (which she started 1st)
I am stupid in recognized the maps. She is very good. So most of the times, she will direct me the road, if not i had to depend on GPS waze. She was unhappy for my weakness, even though after multiple times, i still can confuse with the roads without GPS. I tried to remember, but i had difficulties!
She missed her family very much. Basically she will go back to her hometown once per month (from KL to JB). Hence, every time, i will fetch her to BTS and waited her to catch her bus. When she come back to KL, i will waited her and fetch her back hostel. I insisted to fetch her as I worry her to take taxi alone.
Her parents / brothers were like my parents /brothers. We knew each other well and even spent time together in travelling to Genting etc.
Even for houseman ship, i choose HSIJB with her (as nearer to her house) but she promised me to do the MO ship in batu pahat as exchanged.
During 1st posting, as i was medical posting, she was O&G posting. When she had difficulties in taking blood or setting branula, i will rush to O&G ward to help her take blood or set branula. The nurses had recognized me even before i entered O&G.
For her 1st oncall in ward, i accompanied her and slept in hospital as she scared in manage acute patients.
Even though we were busy in different department, we still try to eat dinner together. Basically at least 2-3 times per week.
However, we had less time to spend together for movie or shopping as both of us were busy in different department. Even though we had time, she preferred going back home to visit her parents. But i preferred not to go with her as driving back and forth took 45min each. At her home, i still need entertained with her parents for breakfast/ dinner. After all, i need a good rest during my off day.
Maybe lack of communication is the key of breaking up. Maybe...
Maybe I didnt spend more time to accompany her as i was busy in hospital with new department
Maybe I am not mature that time compared to the other guy
Maybe I am not good at giving false promise to her (every girl like false promise)
All of these....all of these....cant even balance for the sacrifice/ love i spent for past 3years during university time.
Even in HO ship, i still care for you. But i cant give you the same efforts as in university time. Because i need to work, i need to oncall and i am new to this society.
Maybe this is the reason you felt i do not care for you or love you. So you choose another guy.
I am trying my best to give you a good life in future by performing well in job. I am thinking how to save money to buy house for our future.
I am thinking i am the one who did wrong. Even you break up with me, i still tried my best to make up for both of us. But your heart had been taken away by another guy. You had been flirting with another guy. Oh gosh...what a terrible punch to me.
I received your message...you say you are sorry to me, and thank for the care for past 3years. And hope we can become friend again.
I replied: no thanks....
Thank for deceiving me...
Thank for not believing me to give you a better future
Thank for destroying my faith on love
Thank for making me sad for >1year for the lost
Thank for leaving a hole in my heart
Thank for let me grow up for past 3years+, i became more mature after this relationship
Thank you for everything.
I grew up now.
I am not longer the innocent caipao, who always giving all out for a girl
I am more preserved now
Those who didnt appreciated me, i will not give a shit to you anymore.
Because i believe i am worth than what you think.
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